I don’t really have much to say. Usually, once I’m finished a decade of writing, I still feel as though there wasn’t much said. I’ve only written a few short stories on this blog. I won’t write many more (Thats a lie, if there ever was one). You can bet on that. Ponder it, how can I be a writer with nothing to say? My life is an entire compilation of short stories. Every writer loves writing stories! I don’t know. Maybe, they just like writing poems.
I’ll figure that out later. But right now, welcome me back to OUR blog. Tell me you’ve missed me, because I’ve surely missed my readers. In the time I’ve been gone, I’ve realized that I have grown. I’m sorry, let me finish that sentence: …I have grown my financial debt. So far, my life feels like a kitten cornered by a snake. I kinda gave up on myself at one point. Phew! It’s off my chest. Let me say it again: I. Gave. Up. On. Myself.
We all live our lives seeing the signs made for our personal world. We even make decisions based on intuition. What’s more personal than preference?
The first fifteen years of my life was driven by satisfaction. It wasn’t until I experienced how serious my consequences turned out to be, that I started changing my motives. Let’s go back to the kitten and snake, because what happens next is critical. First, I’ll touch on how I arrived in such a situation.
When challenges emerged, I always felt as if they came to consume me. My reactions were centered around how to not end up as prey. Call it what you like, but that is not normal to me. Why was this becoming a pattern? How do I hault the cycle? Then I realized, these questions weren’t direct enough for an effective solution. The better question descended from heaven gracefully manifesting itself while I was on the toilet. When a feeling can put one at ease during a serious brawl with constipation, that’s a very impactful feeling. No pun intended.
I was knowingly creating these painful moments, by the pleasure I was consistently seeking in unhealthy foods. The message came shining with understanding. The writer in me knew this whole shitting scene that was happening, was just a metaphor for my life. Just like my legs at the toilet, my boundaries were shaky. What was even more disgusting was the fact I became accustomed to ‘playing the victim role.’ Why me? And the truth hit me: this shit really stinks. Yuk!
So yea, the kitty in the corner was devoured whole. Oh, dont give me that. Look at the bigger picture. The cat’s soul reincarnated and learned to watch the grass much more intently. Understand that bad shit happens. Kind of no pun intended, but somehow applicable. Our purpose for life is strictly spiritual. Don’t ever lose sight of that. Even death, can not get in the way of destiny. You see how I brought it all back to a nice and fuzzy place. I’m not the ass whole I used to be.
I’m a better man today. A very receptive man at that. I adopted a new role: “fake it til’ you make it.” Sure enough, my behavior became fused in confidence. The best part, is that I don’t owe anyone anything. Neither do you. This time around, let’s face these difficult times together. No more running. If you do, you’ll become good at that too.
Follow my lead. I’m in the zone. And I don’t just want blog followers, I need the whole consensus of the reading and writing community. Spread the word…well um, spread the specific words I publish in the blog to be exact. So more than ever, I need you.
Well…’more than ever’ I need air, but you get the point.